My Twitter Account: A Ledgend in the Making

Post by Joe

Now I know what you’re thinking.  You’re surprised that I have would have a twitter account.  You’re thinking I’m too cool, smart, and good looking to be a part of something so utterly “poppy” (as in pop-culture, not the flower).  And you’re right.  Or you normally would be.  So why the exception?

Well, as you may have noticed after clicking on the above link, I have had this account for over two years now.  Back when I joined, twitter wasn’t popular, or even well known.  It wasn’t used by celebrities, politicians, colleges, or companies.  It wasn’t featured in “news” stories.  No, it was just a little known site with a few followers.  Thats right, I was a twitter-er before it was cool. 

The truth is, I don’t know why I joined.  I don’t really remember even doing it.  In fact, most of the time I forget that I even have a twitter account.  But every once in a while I get an email stating that I have acquired a new follower.  I have 13 so far.

Now 13 followers is, in and of its self, nothing special.  Most people have significantly more.  What is impressive, however, is that I have acquired these 13 disciples (1 more than Jesus!) through almost no effort on my part.  I again direct you to my account.  You will notice that, in the 2+ years I have been on twitter, I have tweeted a grand total of 4 times.  Roughly once every six months.  And at a limit of 140 characters per “tweet,” that’s even less content than I have placed on this site.  And we all know how little content THAT is.

The reason I have devoted this entire post to my seldom used twitter account, other than the obvious, and quite shameless, attempt at self promotion, is this: It has become my goal to become the Tila Tequila of Twitter.  I intend to use this new medium to pluck myself from obscurity, to the heights of C-level celebrity.  Once I have accomplished this, I will parlay my new-found name recognition into a career of soft core porn and VH1 reality shows.

Now if you do the math, I have acquired 3.25 new followers for every tweet I’ve tweeted.  If the number of my followers continue to increase at that rate, I should hit the 1,000,000 follower mark in just over 307,688 more posts.  (At my bi-annual tweet rate, that’s just about 153,846 years.)  Not too bad, but I think I can do better.  By tweeting more, you ask?  NO, by tweeting less.  Not only do I want to have the most popular twitter page, I want to have the least active one.  I think I can do it.  No, I think WE can do it.  So sign up to follow me on twitter, and I promise you this:  NO NEW CONTENT!

 

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