I Gots to Get Me One of Thoes.

Post by Joe

While on my lunch break the other day, I passed a guy with one of those tear drop tattoos.  Now it has been my understanding that that specific tattoo is meant to suggest that the wearer has killed somebody, or popped a cap in some punk ass, as the kids say.  An odd thing to want to display on your face, to be sure, but undeniably bad ass.  And it got me thinking…  how does one verify the eligability of  the wearer?

What I mean to say is; is this simply an honor system thing, or do you have to prove to the tattoo artist that you have earned such a distinction?  If I was to stroll into some tattoo joint on the wrong side of the tracks, and proclaim that I had just “off-ed some foo’! ” would they accept that?  I’m pretty hardcore,* so I could almost definitely pull that off without a problem.  But what about someone who is less hardcore than I?

*Blogging = Mad Street Cred

What about the parlor themselves?  What kind of responsibility do they have in all this?  Is it like carding for alcohol?  Do you have to provide a witness, or sign a statement saying you actually did kill somebody? (NOTE: Police, you should probably look into that.)

 Or maybe they are really strict.  Maybe you have to actually pump some stool pigeon full of lead right on the spot?  I guess you’d either have to kidnap them, or trick them to coming to the tattoo parlor with you… 

On a totally unrelated note, anybody wanna come with me to get tattoos this weekend?

Anyway, all these questions got me thinking, so I did a little research.   It seems that the teardrop tattoo has several other meanings beyond killing somebody.  In addition to killing, it can mean the wearer is in mourning.  You don’t have to kill anybody, all you have to do is be sad.  And you don’t even have to be sad that somebody is dead, they can just be in prison.  That counts.  So when you think about it; If person A kills person B, then goes to jail, that means all of A’s friends and family, all of B’s friends and family (known as BFFs) AND person A all get tattoos!  That’s a win-win, my friend, with absolutely no negative consequences.  Especially if B was a dick.

And there’s more.  Further on in that same article, it says that in Australia that the tear-drop tattoo means you’ve molested a child.  Wait, what?  What the fuck, Australia?  You had to go and ruin it, didn’t you?  And wait, the person who wears the tattoo is the child molester?  Seriously?  So your all about child molesting, Australia?  That’s how you get down, huh?  You think its cool to brag about shit like that?  Man, that’s fucked up.

Or maybe I’ve jumped to a conclusion unfairly.  It never says that its done to show off, only that it means your a child molester.  Maybe other people hold them down, and force-tattoo them?  That seems a little unlikely.  Seems to me something like that would end with a bunch of one-eyed pedophiles with sloppy grey/blue blobs on the side of their head.  That hardly seems like it should count as a tear-drop.  And even IF that’s the case, what exactly is the plan here? 

Aussie 1: “OK, we need a way to mark all these kid-touchers around here.”

Aussie 2: “What if we hold ‘em down and tattoo ‘PERVERT’ across their face.”

Aussie 1: “That’s good, but how about a little subtlety…”

Aussie 3: “G’day, crikey!”

I gotta stick with my initial reaction on this: What the fuck, Australia.  I don’t know if you guys use it as a scarlet letter style brand or a badge of pederast honor, but either way….  you’ve kinda soured me on the whole thing.  Way to go, Australia.

 

Check it to wreck it