The Prisoner’s Dilemma Drinking Game

Post by Joe

The other day, I got a spark.  I have decided to invent a drinking game.  A drinking game based on the prisoner’s dilemma.  The game will be played with cards.  I havn’t worked out all the details, but the game will be called “Rat” and will based on whether the players decide to “Rat” each other out or not.  I’ve outlined what I have so far below:

The game is played by three or more players: Player A, Player B, and the Interrogator.

 

The Interrogator, who deals the cards, is selected at the beginning of the game, and moves clockwise. If more than three players are playing, the Interrogator may choose to which players the cards are dealt.

 

Each player is dealt a card by the interrogator, and a third card is played, down, to the middle.  The players do not know the value of each other’s card, or the middle card.

 

Player A

Player B

 

	Quiet	Rat
Quiet	Both Players Drink the Value of the Middle Card.	Player A Drinks Middle Card and Player B’s Card.
Rat	Player B Drinks Middle Card and Player A’s Card.	Both Players Drink Double the Value of the Middle Card.

 

Each player has two motivations: to avoid drinking as much as possible, and to make the other player drink as much as possible.

 

Each player faces this dilemma: 

 

If they (as Player A) play the card up, or “rats” then there are two possible outcomes: 

 

Player B is quiet:

Player A has succeeded in both goals.  Player B must now drink the value of the middle card plus the value of Player A’s card, and Player A does not have to drink.   (Big Win, Big Lose)

 

Player B “Rats”

Both players must drink double the value of the middle card.  Player A has succeeded in the goal of making Player B drink, but has failed the goal of not drinking his/her self. (Lose, Lose)

 

If they choose to remain quiet, they face the following possibilities:

 

Player B is quiet:

Both players must drink the value of the middle card.  Player A has succeeded in the goal of making Player B drink, but has failed the goal of not drinking his/her self. (Win, Win)

 

Player B “Rats”

Player A must now drink the value of the middle card, plus the value of the middle card, while Player B does not drink.  Player A has failed both goals.  (Big Lose, Big Win)

 

In accordance with the rules of prisoner’s dilemma, the penaltiy ranking fits that Big Win > Win > Lose > Big Lose, assuming all card values are similar in value.  As this will often not be the case, this may effect the way each hand is played. 

 

As with the normal prisoner’s dilemma, playing only 1 round, both players are likely to “rat,” although this is not the optimum outcome for either, or both.  However, at subsequent rounds, if players believe the other is likely to rat, they will also, even though this hurts them as well.  Developing trust is the only way to avoid this, but that affords the players the opportunity to betray each other. 

 

Additional modification to the penalties can be included, such as:

 

If both players ”rat” and both cards are face cards, then penalties double, and middle card is turned.  If middle card is also face card, penalties tripple.

 

If one player ‘rats’ and the other is quite, and both the “rat” card and middle card are face cards, penalties double.

 

If one player ‘rats’ and the other is quite, and both the “rat” card and middle card are the same suite, penalties revert back to the “rat.”

 

I am very open to any suggestions on this.  What do you think?

Beards 1.1

Post by Joe

In addition to making you look freakin boss, a properly groomed beard can be used to make your head appear longer and/or wider.

Why is this important?

A longer/wider head my help to ward off would-be predatory animal attackers.

Goatees, meanwhile, make you look like a goat.  And we’ve all seen Jurassic Park, we know what happens to goats.

I can honestly say that, since growing my beard, I have not once been the victim of a single bear, shark, T-Rex, or ocelot attack.

 

Think about it…

How About A Nice Hawaiian Punch?

Post by Joe

I learned today that when you repeat the above phrase, but replace the word “Hawaiian” with “Three-Hole,” people around you… lets say they are unlikely to appreciate your attempt at humor.

It’s not that they don’t understand, or appreciate the reference. I think they do, on both accounts.

I think its being hit in the side of the head with a 2 pound iron piece of office equipment that they didn’t quite “get.”

Yeah, looking back on the whole thing, that’s definitely where I lost ‘em…

 

 

God, I’m so board.

On Beards…..

Post by Joe

It is said that money can’t buy happiness. But if you are a male, age 18 – dead, then your face can likely grow it. I am speaking, of course, of beards.  My beard and I have been together for several years, and let me tell you, it has been golden.

There is not one single aspect of life which is not made better by the presence of a beard. Believe me on this. Beards make you smarter, cooler, more attractive, taller, stronger, faster, better than you were. Oh, but that our clumsy language contained the words needed to explain to someone without face fur exactly what it means.

FACT: There is no such thing as facial hair. Their is, however, head beard.  This is sometimes mistakenly called “hair.”

Some of you beardless readers may doubt my claims. That is perfectly understandable. How could you possibly understand?

FACT: Santa Clause has a beard. Hitler did not. Who would YOU trust?

This simple truth of the matter is simply that beards make life better. It’s that simple. Pirates knew it, vikings knew it, cavemen knew it, even the bearded lady at the circus knows it.

While I have not yet come close to making my point yet, I will pause at this point.  Why?  For fear that I become too worked up?  Yes.  But there’s another reason.  The normal human brain simply cannot contain the wonder that is the beard.  If I continue, I risk leaving out a very important beard-fact or beardism.  I can’t do that to you, the reader.  And I won’t do that to beards.  If what I have said so far hasn’t moved you to grow a beard, then check your pulse. If you have one, and still no beard, just wait.  More chin-warming awesomeness awaits…

Coming up on future “On Beards…” The History of Beards, Why Mustaches Blow, The Goatee Can Go Fuck Itself, Sideburns: They ok, but only if they are outrageous.

Chocolate Factory

Post by Dave

I had a dream last night that I was on the chocolate factory tour with Willy Wonka and a bunch of other people. I don’t know, I guess I found a golden ticket or something. I don’t remember if that happened or why I was there.

So we walk into this room and there’s candy canes all over the walls. Everyone goes “ooo candy canes” and reaches for one and starts eating it. I reach for one, simultatiously noticing that there is also a roll of sweet tarts attached to the candy canes and wondering what the hell I’m doing in Willy Wonka’s Chocolate Factory. Like all of my dreams, I go from my perspective to observing myself and back again. Sometimes I shift to someone elses perspective but that’s not in this dream and has no bearing on the rest of anything that I’m about to say.

So anyway, someone else notices that there is sweet tarts on the candy canes and says “oh awesome there’s sweet tarts on here,” and immediately unwraps them to eat some. Oddly, the sweet tarts don’t open like normal sweet tarts. One end opens and the entire column of sweet tarts comes out as a solid block of sweet tart goodness. I don’t know why, that’s just how I dreamt it. Anywhow.. Willy says to us, he says, “Don’t eat the sweet tarts, they’re experimental.” Now at this point I’m looking at the sweet tarts, thinking to myself. Damn I want some sweet tarts.. I haven’t had these in ages. Then an image of a girl blown up like a balloon and turning blue comes to mind, and I say to myself “fuck that shit” and just munch on my candy cane even though I really don’t even like candy canes.

Two other people that I recognize from somewhere, possibly friends but I forget who they are, decide to just eat the candy canes too.  The rest of the group eats the sweet tarts, completely ignoring Willy. I look at Willy while I’m eating my candy cane and he winks at me and the other two people who decided not to eat them. Later, when Willy isn’t looking, the other two eat the sweet tarts. I’m the only one who listened to Willy. After this I remember nothing.

“Mother” Earth

Post by Dave

I don’t know about you, global community, but I’m sick of being babied. It’s like no matter how much I grow up I always wind up having to rely on mommy for support.

She’s always so ready to help too, ya know? Why won’t she just let me be independent for a while? Always budding in with her “oxygen” and “food”.. always saying “I told you so” every time my face starts to turn blue when I hold my breath to show her I don’t need her. I appreciate you helping us start out when we were helpless babies but we have science now. Yeah, you didn’t invent anything, we did. We can.. we can.. go to the moon now. I know how to cook spaghetti. Do you? No.

A Network Called “Internet”

Post by Joe

Oh man, this is gonna be huge….